so explain again why im purple
no
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
