Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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