how hairy? two words: wookie tits
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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