what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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