remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
