Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
