No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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