I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
