Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
