I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
