They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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