I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
