my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
