I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
