Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
