Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
