Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
