you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You don't make any sense
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