going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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