she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
