What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
