Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
