So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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