I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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