What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
