im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize