I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
