she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
