also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We need to get me chipped asap
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
