Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
