just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
