i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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