Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Randomize
