If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
no you cant smoke seaweed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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