you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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