her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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