We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
soo... how was my night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
