I think I died a long time ago.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
