so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I cut my penus on the lid.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
