I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
