Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
