God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize