I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
