This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
