I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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