I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Pappa wants mamma naked
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
two words: eviction party
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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