Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize