dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
