fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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