mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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