ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
