dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
