We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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