He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
