would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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