yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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