My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize