i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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