She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
false alarm. still invincible.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
