They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
