considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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