i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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