That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
