Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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