Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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