If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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