I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
