Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
