please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
