Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
how drunk are you?
Several
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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