Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
