Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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