i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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