We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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