And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize